Another letter is dispatched - this time, to another old acquaintance - once more is it sealed with golden wax bearing the depiction of a half-sun rising. Within is no more than a letter, albeit one written in a flowing and well-composed hand that seems almost strange, compared to the woman whose words it conveys.
Aelberyn,
If I may be so informal with you, still. I know we weren’t…terribly close before, but I still owe you an apology – more than one, in truth. Explanations, as well, if you so choose. Honesty is my aim, and a fresh start is my goal. If you’ve no interest in as much, then I will understand. My actions some years ago left something to be desired, I know. That said, I cannot move forward without guilt, knowing what - and who – I so selfishly left behind. I’d like to make things right, if such a thing is possible; and if not, make amends at the very least.
I know you’re a busy woman, and I ask much, but I would appreciate a meeting with you, Lady Bloodsword – perhaps even ask for your insight, if you’re willing to spare it. You were always better at keeping a clearer head than I, and looking at things from a different perspective. And…once upon a time you offered to try and cleanse me – began to, even. I’d like to hear your thoughts on it now, considering how far things have progressed.
Thank you for your time,
Lilliana Whitedawn
Guilt, mostly. She didn't 'commit' to people, or relationships, out of...some sense of self-loathing. I think K and Asarel both sort of termed her 'wishy-washy' at one point and like, in reflection, she realizes she made a lot of hasty, immature decisions that hurt the people around her. (She may have an over-inflated sense of guilt, as well.)
I have to admit, other than her sudden leaving and all that, I can't remember why LIly feels she hurt so many people so particularly.