Khaeris Dawndancer

“You know he’s my lover, right?” Khaeris grinned, her dimples deepening, though she glanced away, thinking the question through. “I feel good about him.Things are really good, for the most part. There’s some reservations, but when aren’t there?

“He’s a good man, better than I deserve. He’s been good to me. He has always been very patient with me. And he listens to me. More carefully and more open than anyone in my life. Somedays that’s such a wonderful feeling,” her impish grin flashed cheekily, “then other days I want to throw something at him because he oftens reads me better than anyone does. There’s no hiding things with him, usually.

“I know what he does is important–but sometimes I wish we could just …go.” She shrugged a little, reaching up to shake a hand through her hair, her bangles chiming softly. “I miss him. Terribly. Even when he gets a chance to come back for a bit, I can’t  ask him about his work, not really. The things I get to  know about his work generally revolve around funerals. It’s a bit of a rub, not getting to know what he  does with most of his time. I can’t ask about his day a lot of the time. It burns me up sometimes, the curiosity. And sometimes it just makes my heart bottom out, wondering if he’s safe. I feel  petty, nattering on about my unimportant days. So I can struggle to feel connected to him sometimes.

“Sometimes I don’t know where I stand with him–he’s not particularly warm in a lot of ways I got used to before. Pollux doesn’t really think about gifts, or dates, or signs of affection. He’s a little colder than I’m used to, at times–but it’s protective, I think. He’s considered himself alone for a long time; seems a little hard to adjust to having to consider someone else, after so long. And I can be greedy with affection. I try not to sulk. Sometimes I’m better at it than others.”

Khaeris flushed a little, her smile returning full and warm as she thought about the man. “I’m humbled by him and what he’s  been through. I like what he does for me. I like what I help him with. I love him.”