Tag: drugs x 2

She stumbled into her apartment, post-Cakes.

The night had been going so well, and...the circle of Tarts at Fancy Cakes reminded her of being on the Barge. Of crew laughing, and partying, and gossiping. Their friendship was a beautiful thing to witness, even as it cut old wounds deeper, watching this in a place full of so many ghosts for her.

And then a man came to sheepishly apologize to the Tarts; for lashing out, and walking away. For acting out without talking to someone first. The horned blonde about choked, her blood going cold as she watched.

It was her. Sobbing to Iloam. Crying, begging. How many times had she fucked up? How had she let it get so bad? 

She chimed in. Told him to back it up - that the refusal of some of those...

Drugs only keep the urges numbed - quiet, and well-behaved. But it grows more and more - like treating hunger with handfuls of candy...it's instant gratification, but it doesn't do much for your actual hunger. Eventually the taste of sugar makes you recoil, and all you can think about is the meal you've been putting off.

That's what it's like on a daily basis - a pervasive itch I can't reach - though it used to be drugs, before I was corrupted. I was addicted to mana, and I thought that was bad. And it is - I'll never say it isn't. But that's a thing one can have treated, and overcome with time and effort. Now? Am I more demon than elf? I don't know anymore, but I know what demons feed on. I know what they want, more than anything. I...