Lady Ravasha Witchhawk

Tea Party for Ladies of Silvermoon City

Dear Diary,

When I was a young teenager my mother threw a tea party for, 'high class young ladies of Silvermoon.' Several girls came with their mothers. The adults sat at one table and we children at the second table. The kids were terribly interested in what the adults were doing: Were they thinking of new and creative ways to punish them when they were bad? Were they praising them? Not discussing them at all?

The women served us small cupcakes and glasses of hot or cold teas. We tried to be polite and not eat or drink messily. One of the girls complained that no one was talking we were just consuming snacks and teas. We responded by... continuing to silently consume snacks and teas.

It wasn't that I didn't wanna chat. It was more that I was raised by my Mommy Viviaria to be quiet, study others' reactions before speaking and deferential. I was trained to be a passive girl who relies on others to set her own mood and behaviors. I hadn't realized this until years later.

A woman who organized the tea party asked me if I wanna have more tea?

"Yes, thank you." I respond.

She pours another glass and we continue to sit in silence.

Why were the girls afraid to chat with each other? In my opinion it was because we didn't truly know one another outside of being in the same social and economic circles. If we'd had some background as friends we may have been more willing to 'talk instead of consume snacks and drinks.' I worried... was the sweetener in the tea going to make me fat? The cupcake?

Every time I eat or drink too much I am wracked with guilt. I think of all the ways in which I am fat, ugly and unlovable. It didn't help that parents, friends and lovers would tell me some variation of I am too willful and fiery of a girl. Unladylike. Not worth their time. Read our minds and figure out why we hate you.

So I asked a few perfunctory questions about the complaining girls' day and that was that. We finished our tea party in polite silence and stillness aside from eating and drinking. And I was both happy and deeply sad and lonely.

Love,

Ravasha Witchhawk