Velinthria Lightwhisper

Any Good Thing

Veli shot up in bed again, her body shaking with a hacking cough and the sobs started again. She found it somewhat amusing that she couldn’t sleep more often after her father had been caught than she ever did when she was on the run and every day was a reminder of that time. The words that she spoke to Alia still echoed in her mind, “You don’t have to get me anything” and Alia responded “I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” it reminded her of Haveth. He wasted three years of his life on Veli. He spent all that time with her and for what? Her dad trying to kill her and the sobs came even stronger. 

Veli then sat there for what seemed like an eternity. Thankful that she was no longer sleeping where Nora could hear her and wake up, but every last memory of past birthdays just came flooding back to her. The times that her father, her now poor sick almost wretched father had given her one toy after another after another. Her mother bathing her in hugs and kisses and both of her brothers just sitting there acting like they didn’t really care but still coming in and handing her their presents as well and her mind shifts, it fast forwards to when her and Haveth were on the run. He would come in as she was sleeping and set one thing after another in front of her and holding her close as she would cry about him being so giving and repeating the same words back to her that her friend Alia had said just last evening.

Then after sobs wracked her entire body and she continually coughed and shifted around in her bed at the inn she came to a painful realization. She doubled over and grabbed the first thing she could see and felt the sickness rising up in her throat and she collapsed heavily on the bed. She thought of the words he spoke the other day, she knew he had gone mad, and that he was a raving lunatic but perhaps he was right. For every good thing she had done, it was in response to something even worse and the three words continued to ring in her ears, “It’s your fault.” and she suddenly knew it was. 

Veli had been trying to atone for the fact that, had she stayed there, had she witnessed everything, she could have possibly prevented all of this. She was a healer, she should have seen the signs of some sort of mental illness and maybe if she did, she could have prevented all of this. Her guilt and pain consumed her and she couldn’t help but just lie there in bed, feeling sick to her stomach and cower there in agony. The only thing she knew is that she didn’t deserve any good thing, she didn’t deserve a present or anything good  until she had fixed what she had broken. So she had resolved that she needed to go and see him, tonight, and fix him, no matter what it took but until then, she would just lay here, writing in pain like she had felt she deserved.